Closing Walls January 17, 2011

They make it look so easy connecting with another human being. It’s like no one told them its the hardest thing in the world. – Dexter

I don’t know how to write a perfect article. I just know to write what comes to my mind. If some of you think that reading this article is going to make your life any better. No its not. If you think your life sucks, you are probably right! It does. I have done nothing in past three days, just stared at my program trying to make it work perfectly and endlessly watching one movie after another. It’s 3:10 AM in morning and I still feel restless and a guilty.

But probably you are still wondering whats up with Dexter dialogue, It’s probably part of attracting the readers to this blog and article. And yeah, there is more to it, too.

I know everyone thinks their life is pathetic than other. And some will even compete with you, to make you believe their life sucks more than yours. Funny world. But I m not here to talk about others. My articles are about my thoughts. Sometime even I wonder why do I need to write an article about what I think. May be after 10 years when I read this I would laugh. Hmmm right. Not sure about that too.

Have you sat in your room alone for 3 days? Probably not. (And god forbidden you should not). There is strange kind of loneliness that sinks into you. Mind is completely blank and like walls around you are going to suffocate you to death. It’s like world is unaware that you even exist. I m living an old man’s life even before I hit my 30′s. In this 3 days only call I got was from my Custom Programmer Lead and a friend who only happen to call after I did. It’s like you are not important in anyones life. (Other than ofcource my parents,brothers and sisters.) My mom once happen to tell me, that in my so call Rashi, it is written that, I will not have any friends and nor will I have enemies. Probably that is true! My 631 friend list in Facebook seems not big enough I suppose. (And so in my mobile with 400 numbers.)

I miss my friends here. Once with whom I was actually myself. Jithu, Ashwin, Sumit, Kaizer, Dutta. Though all we did is drink all the time. But I never felt alone. We all talked bullshit all the time. Some weird topics sometimes. Crazy dances Nights(Funny part was we music for every night like in Pubs. Wednesday is Hip Hop. Thursday is Hindi. Some crazy shit I dont even remember.). Watching Cricket was so much fun.

And now when ever I see people around me holding hands, so being in “LOVE”. These lines from Dexter comes to my mind “They make it look so easy connecting with another human being. It’s like no one told them its the hardest thing in the world”

(In more simple words I think,

HOW THE FUCK DO THEY DO IT!

I MEAN FIND SOMEONE WITH WHOM THEY CONNECT)

Jagdeep Singh Virdi

Kashmir : A Serious Thought March 20, 2010

Hi,

Fight For Freedom ?

Kashmir is one of the most important and core issue after Isreal and Palastain. I m not bothered much about whats going on between Isreal and Palastain. I am worried about my country, Our Kashmir.

I dont know what Kashmir’s are fighting for. Freedom ? What freedom do they want and from Whom ? Kashmiris think they are the only state that has suffered from Partition in 1947. I don’t know why it is of so much importance ? Is it just because they are Muslims ? (I am no personal grudge one anyone. It is the society that has brought this situation. I don’t understand why everyone has a feeling that Muslims are always treated bad in India. We are not Hindu State. We are One Big Country in which everyones heart has only one religion that is Indianism. )

It is not that Kashmir was only state which was cut into half brutally, people separated and border drawn.  There was another state called Punjab. During separation, there is no other state that has suffered the out pour of Hate than Punjab.(Even Bengal for that instance). Media, Politics and society talk about Kashmir ever time. I think Kashmiris should learn from Punjabis. We were not even asked if we wanted to be independent state and we were torn into 2 halfs. We lost or main land. We lost our capital Lahore. If you ask any Punjabi. You would know. Lahore was in heart of every Punjabi. And it was lost to petty politic. No body thought about that.

Like Kashmir, Punjab had its problems too. Even  our people were brain washed by ISI and shown a dream of Independent State.  Even our people were taken out of homes and killed by Army. Not to forget our main Gurdwara was attacked by army and many innocent lives were gone.(Akal Takth is like Mecca to us). If you talk about Gujrat Roit or Mumbai Riots even we had 1984 riots were Sikhs not in one place but all over india were people taken out of homes and were killed, women raped. We dont keep blaming everyone for that. We don’t seek revenge for that all the time. That was work of some fullish people who took life of our people. But we forgave them.

Now Punjab is best state in India. Infact in many ways Back bone of India. We were derailed from our paths for some time. But then peace prevailed. We are Indian and Proud to be called so. I dont think that is the same thing with Kashmir. You are not Indias No way. You keep chasing this dream of Azadi which even you know you are not going to get. If you gave your heart to India. This problem of Kashmir would not have lasted for a day. If you support India there would not be any more problem. Problem is that you are confussed. You know you are not going to survive as indenpent country no way. With Pakistan and China being your neighboring countries. I bet that soon after you get so called freedom of yours(Which Is IMPOSSIBLE). Kashmir would become another Afganistan. I bet. You think managing Country is piece of cake. No it is not.

Kashmirs should understand that they are Part of India. And entire country loves Kashmir. Problem is you think we dont love Kashmir and Kashmiris. Its not that. There are some people who are exception. But there are good people too. See how prosperous Punjab is now. Does it looks like this is the State that was haunted by rise of terrorism in early 90s ? I think even Kashmiris should do the same thing they must say NO to terrorism. Come on Accept the Fact. You are not going to get freedom No way. Nor Pakistan is going to leave the Issue. Nor India Is going to let you go. So the Question of so called Azad Kashmir does not arise.

If you want to Join Pakistan think again a country that Itself cannot stand for its people it will never stand for Kashmir. If there is some attack on US or some money from US or some F16 given to them they are going to sell you too like they did to Afganistan. Kashmir is a beutiful place. You like it or not. It will remain beautiful only if you stay with India. About the roits and unrest that is going on everyday will no longer be an issue. Its just useless. Amarnath issue could have been solved very soon. The solution is just accept that it is for good for the pilgrims who come to pray and for you. Understand more people come to Kashmir it will progress more. You would get more tourist. Due to some politics you left this big opportunity.  Lets say in future some company say TATA wants to build a factory in Kashmir that will help Kashmiris.  Will you allow that to happen? Again some politician will say a Hindu Company is trying to occupy our lands. Come on think Logically.

See were Kashmir is right now. And see were all the other states are? Is it really progressing? No. You always blame Army for the unrest. But if you are peace loving they why would army do anything to you. If you dont support Terrorists Why would army even enter your Homes. There is Army presence in all the states where it is in border with Pakistan or China. There Army dont go killing people. They why is it that it happens only in Kashmir. Army is there is Rajistan and Punjab too. We dont hear them killing people their or raping girls. Do We ? And Do you think the POK is better maintained and people are kept properly there? No there are human right violation there too. But it does not come out. The media is shut there. But India is not like that. We give freedom of speech to everyone. And that is why we are able to listen to you.

There are some previligies that only Kashmir enjoys in India. Things are cheap there for instance Petrol. There is a rule that No Indian can buy land in Kashmir. But Kashmiris can by land any where in India. We have accepted you the way you are. Its high time you accept us. Otherwise this will go on for ever and ever.

Just give an end to this fight and start your life.

Jai Hind.

Jagdeep Singh Virdi

Beautiful Girl : My First Song March 11, 2010

Hi there,

I think some of you who follow my blog know that sometime back I wrote a Rap song. Which I think was quite nice. Now I am going to try to write a song. This came to my mind listening to Lonely Day  by System of Down. So to sing this song. You have to have Music of Lonely Day and Lyrics of My song.

Such a beautiful Girl, such a beautiful girl in My life.(2)

I wish she was there by side, all day and all night.

She walks like some princes divine. God has send her to be mine.

Such a beautiful Girl, such a beautiful girl in My life.(2)

She looks stright me and smiles.

And I know she will never be mine.

bla bla bla…. I want to complete this.

But half the way… looks even more better…

Jagdeep Singh Virdi

Protected: Like a Condom – To Serve and To Protect. March 10, 2010

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Analysing ME! September 12, 2009

Hi

Most of us dont analyse who and what we are!Probably we dont have that much time. I am trying to know my self better and my actions. Being a fucken Analyst and Programmer. I have got into a wrong habit of doing this in every aspect of life. Being Analyst is getting into my system. Now for instance I am sitting at 1 30 AM in the morning trying to analyse myself. Yeah I know my life sucks. Anyway here we go.

1.  I am talkative.(Which not many people know.) If you are one of my closest friends. I will call you frequently or be in touch. Would not mind chatting with you for hours.
2.  I cant stand anyone Ignoring me. (Sometime I do the same and I m not proud of it.)
3.  I like my calls being answered at all cost. I dont like being hung up.
4.  I dont like half hearted calls or chats. Some chatting or calling for name sake kind. If you really want to call do. I dont like sympathy calls and chats.
5.  Chats with lot of hmmm, Ok are irritating. People lying in chats can be caught easily. Dont say you are going to sleep, when you are go on being online for next 2 hours. If you are busy just simply say you are, say you are chatting with someone else.
6.  I dont like people trying to cut me off.
7.  I am a LEO! There is lot of pride in me. It might be negative thing to have. But thats what I am.
8.  If you think I am angry with you. Probably I am! Confirm that.
9.  If I am very angry I would cut myself from the world. I would not be reachable on Phone, Gmail, Orkut, Facebook. (Though I am there in them sometime in Invisible mode.)
10. I am not very good in wooing girls. Its not a piece of cake for me. I just cant do it. I cant joke around like some people who know this art. (I dont think I even read signal even if anyone has given me one. ha ha…)
11. I hate people who dont have any kind of addiction in their life. People must have something that they are addicted to it. Like for instance I am a movie freak! I love drinking. I love Music, pubs and discs.
12. I dont believe Guys who dont drink, they are bunch of Douchebag.
13. I never every try to take advantage of anyone or any situation. I have never done that. Will never do.(I know others do take advantage of me. Yes they do.)
14. I hate people who show or pretend that they care but actually they dont give a shit about you. They are just there with you because they are stuck with you.
15. If I do a mistake. I will sooner or later confess about it to you.
16. If I am guilty I will confess. This is something in me that I have noticed. I confess if I know I hurt someone.
17. Please Bare with me if there is misunderstanding between us.
18. Like everyone I like to keep control of everything around me. I dont like when things dont go the way I want them to.
19. When I use lot of sarcasm in my language! Yes I am pissed off because of You.
20. I am very possessive about things around me. My Friends, My Sketches, My things.( There is lot of ‘MY’here. Typical Leo Behaviour.)
21. I always feel I am IMPORTANT n Famous! Which I think I am.
22. I am not a bad person. I know this for sure. ( I know even Hitler thought the same about him. But jokes apart yes I am good Person.)
23. I cant show off. I dont wear cool glasses. Cool dresses. (Though I know if do dress up well. It would be good.)
24. I dont like people lying. Dont like them.(Which I think is common with everyone.)
25. If I do anything stupid. Say it on my face. I would appreciate that.
26. Facebook says LOT about me.(Joker picture is to show is freaken psychotic right now.)
27. I did hurt some people in my life and I’m embarrassed about it.
28. Promise is Promise. I dont break one. I try to keep them up.
29. Friends and Family mean a lot to me. More than you can think of.
30. If I am a douchebag or an idiot It’s your responsibility to correct me.

Friend You are welcome to give your comments. I would not mind. If they are true and I missed it. It will go in my Analysing list.(Will Add more to this.)

Jagdeep Singh Virdi

Slap of Irony August 25, 2009

Hi

I don’t know why I start my blog with an apology these days. Anyway I am going to do it again. I am sorry that I keep disappearing from the Blog world. There are no specific reasons for that. Only one reason that I can think of is that I am lazy. Anyway I am back for sometime now.

To be frank I am not in right state of mind. (Actually most of the time when I am not in right state of mind, I write blogs. All the sad once.). This time too I am confused. Its like I don’t know myself. There is strange feeling inside. Violent. Anger. Hate. Jealous. Its like I am going psychotic every day. The Main reason being attachments.  I don’t understand why do I even need it. Do I really? Why cant we have just some great friends that is it. Bond free. Why do you need someone to be very close to you? Love You. Know you inside out. I wish god takes out attachments from me. After which let me not have any feelings left in me. And be Like  a stone. Not to feeling anything or anyone. Not to feel loved or Hated.  Just do what I am suppose to do and let this life pass by. God please grant me this wish. (Yeah I do want little attachment with my Parents. Other than that I don’t need anything.) Bring me closer to you, Oh God. Let me just sing and dance praising you. I want to be a child who does not care of anything around the world. Who knows no love no hate.

This what was going on in my mind all day long. I wanted to hate everyone around me. It’s not that life has been harsh on me this particular day only. It has been like this long since I can remember. May be that is why I am more inclined to parents,religion and country. Cause I feel only they know how much I love them. Half of the people around me don’t really get me. I am sure about it. People just fool around and leave. This day I felt only I had all the problems in life. I don’t have a penny in my bank. I cant help my dad with work. I am away from home. I don’t have a someone to care n love. At work even after giving my best I don’t think people reorganize it.  My life has Sucks written all over it. When my mind was surrounded with all these thoughts. I get two mails. One was from my youngest sister at home. It was Rakhi. Though it reached me late. It reached me at the right time. God said in his own style “Someone Loves You”. Another mail was from World Vision it was from a girl I had been sponsoring for a year now. It had her snap and what she does and stuff. Her father is Labour and Mother is housewife. She has a brother too. Suddenly I realized. I am so much more lucky and blessed to have a loving parents and good Job. The point is I am so well off and doing good. I dont think I should cry over something I could not get. I should see her life and draw inspiration from it. Now I feel so proud that I am sponsoring a girl for her education. I pray she does great in her life.

Now I feel better. Though I am not pumped up with confidence and positiveness. I feel a lot better.

Thank God. Wahe Guru Ji Ka Khalsa. Wahe Guru Ji De Fathe.

Jagdeep Singh Virdi

Fading Happiness July 19, 2009

Hi

There is always a time in life when you have all the reason to be happy but you are still unstatisfied. There is a strange kind of emptiness in your heart. A void. As if you are missing something. I am very much in same state of mind.

Shakespeare said world is a Stage and we all actors. I disagree with him. I think life is like a master and we are its spoiled Bitches. There are times when life treats us so well and all we do is despise it. And when it starts treating us like a bitch we run behind it. I know what I am writing might sound lot like crap. But if you are in Shitty side of life all you can get is the stink.

Coming back to my point which is why my topic is about “Fading Happiness”. Lately everything in my life is going wrong. I just lost one of my best friends (Lost in the sense we dont talk any more). My entire collection of movies, Songs, Drawing picture Collection and Data was lost when I tried to install new OS!

The only happiness left in my life right now, is My Nephew. He recently started going to school. Daily calling my sister and listening to what my nephew does daily in school is all the fun I have. I love that part. Then there is my second life where I get drunk go out to party with friends. I love it when Alcohol runs in my veins and when the sound of music so loud that it hits your heart with every beat.  But when I am out of this noise. I again start thinking of the friend that I lost.

It’s really unfair I think. I agree I lost my friend due to my stupidity. Let me be even more clear here. I tried to ignore my friend for sometime because I felt I was not getting enough attention and my messages were not being replied. Come who does not get angry like this? And after this when I came over my anger and started to talk to her. Now she does not talk. It was then I realized “Oh Shit, Did I screw up again?”‘ It was too late by then. It was like I am crying over the spilled milk. Now all I can do is sing Last Kiss from Perl Jam with a bottle of Rum by my side. People say drink does not help and leads to Alcoholism. I totally disagree It is actually great!

Thinking about this failed friendship its hard. I dont like it when things end like this. But what are we suppose to do when they do? Why do people dont come over it for better good? I dont blame anyone. My point is if our friendship does not stand up to this small test. May be we were not close enough. Though we could have been. It really hurts when you see a great friend in someone and then you loose them all of sudden. Dont we deserve second chance ? Why do fail to talk things through. Most of failed relationships are not due to misunderstanding. It is cause we fail to over come and talk this misunderstanding through.

Sometime I wonder is this what we call friendship is ? When One person does something wrong the other just leave you and go? Why did my friend not catch my ears and say “Stop showing off. And reply.” The more I think about this more I become impatient and angry. Angry that It ended because of me. Angry that even after me trying I could not make it happen. Angry that it did not work out well. Angry that I lost a friend.

I have nothing else to say. The more I think about this more I feel sad. I think I should stick to my movie that I am watching.

Jagdeep Singh Virdi

Argument with A Bengali July 19, 2009

Hi

First before I start let make this clear. I do have some good Bengali Friends this article is not intent to hurt them. They are my friends first. For others I dont care! Now Take this.

Everyone loves their “Home town”. Like, I love punjab even though I have never stayed their long enough but still I love the place. People there are gracious, loving, hospitality is amazing (No other state can claim that I think.), we love food, love to party, can take a lot of drinks, somethings are genetically embedded in our DNA. But somethings I am not proud of like Female Infanticide and being biased at times.

Now let me come to my point there are something we can be proud of somethings we cant. And this Bengali that I met had got it all wrong.

Argument started something like this. I was talking to 2 other guys in the train, generally about How Bengal has not progressed at all in all these years. I telling them what my Dad’s Friend happen to say me that Bengal was No. 1 State because we can get food for Rs.10 even now! Now this Bengali heard me saying that. He got totally wild and started saying things which were no were related to topic.

My Argument was people where happy the way they are. They did not want to progress in their life. They were happy that they got food for Rs.10. My thinking is If today I have a shirt worth Rs.500 tomorrow I have to earn enough that I can buy a shirt worth Rs.1000. I would constantly want to improve my life. But people there have lost that will I think. I have been out of bengal from past 15years! Still when ever I go back to my hometown (Kharagpur) there is nothing there to do. Nothing at all. After Ages we got our first Shopping Mall. This was my part and where the argument started.

This is what that Bengali had to say.

1. Bengal is No.1 State in India. (Yeah! Right…)

2. World Trade Centre was Designed by Bengali (I dont know how that Helps bengal to progress.)

3. We dont kick people like you out of our state. Like they do in Maharashtra. (I dont even know. Why this point came and what it has got to do anything with the progress of Bengal. Infact they should be happy that we work!)

4. If we dont get food for Rs.10 what will poor people eat. (That Uncle I am talking about earns like in 7 figures. He is still not ready to shed something from his pocket. Plus this was just a metaphoric statement. What I ment was they dont want to improve.)

5. Bengal is No.1 state in Agriculture! (He forgot Punjab and Harayana)

6. People like us “Earn” from bengal and go to Punjab (This was his reasoning why Punjab is prospering.)

7. There is lot of Industrialization in Bengal. There are many companies coming to Bengal after Nano left. (This is the Joke of Century. I know 4 companies that Immediately pulled out after this. Jindal Cements, Jindal Steel, TCS, and Wipro)

8. Bengal is Improving more than Gujarat! (Another Joke that I laughed like hell)

9. Bengal Government is the Best.

10. Ganguly was thrown out of the team cause he was Bengali.

11. There is no Bengal Regiment in Army because everyone is afraid that Bengal might become most powerful state!!! (May be there is no Bengal Regiment cause they are Lazy!)

The last Argument really Blew me out. I was speech less and thought its waste to argue with this man. After that I took all the Crap he have to give about Bengal. Anyway Hope you enjoyed his Argument.

Jagdeep Singh Virdi

Coming Soon July 18, 2009

Hi

Though I dont have any fan following for my blogs. And I am sure not many missed me either. I would love to say the rest “I am back.” There has been lot of things that has been going on in my mind for some time now. There are many new topics and thoughts that I would love to share with you.

Before I forget them. I would like to document them.(What can I do being in IT industry for 3 years now even I started using Techie terms like Documentation, in my day to day life. ) Here are the titles of some of the blogs that you all can expect from my blog.

You see It’s something like Trailer. So that I am able to connect to my audience. You are free to comment and let me know which Title to be published sooner than later.

Titles

1. They like it, The Other Way – ( Its about Article 377)

2. Kashmir Issue : A Serious Thought – (Its about India’s No 1 problem at present. State that has lost itself in battle of freedom)

3. Fading Happiness – (Basically State of My Life right now.)

4. Rediscovering the Cricketer in Me – ( Its about CCL . Saturday Morning Cricket.)

5. Argument with A Bengali – (Its about Bengali I met in Train.Very Interesting.)

6. Hardeep Analysis – Selfish Dhoni – (Its about my Brother’s and My research on Dhoni.)

7. Not Guilty – (Its about Ajmal Kasab. Who is making fool out of us.)

8. We, Sikhs – (Its about my faith,my believe,my religion!)

Though right now I can think of only so many topics, would update this list soon.

Hope you would love them.

Jagdeep Singh Virdi

We, The Gori Chamdi Wale June 27, 2009

Hi

This blog is dedicated to people like me. i.e. People with fair Skin(Or so called Gori Chamdi, Not Foreigners but basically North Indian), Shy and Single. Or  the SSS Gang. I am not racist! My friend list range from people from different states, countries and continents.

People have habit of assuming things. By just knowing their little background. Like All South Indians are Madrasies. Or all Malwadis are kanjus! Same like this I have noticed people assuming that if you are fair and say little handsome (No I am not Bragging about me! ) You have girl friend. This does not go for me alone. I know some more people in same criteria. Now tell me what do we do ? Its even worst for girls I think. But really what are to do in this condition? Hang a board from our neck what says “SINGLE READ TO MINGLE” ?

So what I come here to say is if you see us(I mean SSS gang.). Please don’t assume things come to us. Talk to us. Once you take the first step. Its quite easy for us. Its like work half done.

In India, there is big problem with the color thing. When ever I see Fair and Lovely Ads. It makes me feel sick to my stomach. What do they think they are saying to the common public that’s watching the Ad? Do they want to say only if you are fair you will be successful ? I dont know why Government even allows such ads. Do they know how much insecurity it brings in people’s mind? It really sad. Why should you buy Fairness Cream? I dont think anyone need one. You should be happy they way you are. And if Fair and Lovely Cream was not enough. They have brought another product in market. Called Fair and Handsome! Bull Shit. And to advertise it our so called great SRK comes. This is just my thought. I know most of the people have noticed this. (I wanted to add this paragraph. It had been in my mind for quite sometime.)

Jagdeep Singh Virdi