Hi

There is always a time in life when you have all the reason to be happy but you are still unstatisfied. There is a strange kind of emptiness in your heart. A void. As if you are missing something. I am very much in same state of mind.

Shakespeare said world is a Stage and we all actors. I disagree with him. I think life is like a master and we are its spoiled Bitches. There are times when life treats us so well and all we do is despise it. And when it starts treating us like a bitch we run behind it. I know what I am writing might sound lot like crap. But if you are in Shitty side of life all you can get is the stink.

Coming back to my point which is why my topic is about “Fading Happiness”. Lately everything in my life is going wrong. I just lost one of my best friends (Lost in the sense we dont talk any more). My entire collection of movies, Songs, Drawing picture Collection and Data was lost when I tried to install new OS!

The only happiness left in my life right now, is My Nephew. He recently started going to school. Daily calling my sister and listening to what my nephew does daily in school is all the fun I have. I love that part. Then there is my second life where I get drunk go out to party with friends. I love it when Alcohol runs in my veins and when the sound of music so loud that it hits your heart with every beat.  But when I am out of this noise. I again start thinking of the friend that I lost.

It’s really unfair I think. I agree I lost my friend due to my stupidity. Let me be even more clear here. I tried to ignore my friend for sometime because I felt I was not getting enough attention and my messages were not being replied. Come who does not get angry like this? And after this when I came over my anger and started to talk to her. Now she does not talk. It was then I realized “Oh Shit, Did I screw up again?”‘ It was too late by then. It was like I am crying over the spilled milk. Now all I can do is sing Last Kiss from Perl Jam with a bottle of Rum by my side. People say drink does not help and leads to Alcoholism. I totally disagree It is actually great!

Thinking about this failed friendship its hard. I dont like it when things end like this. But what are we suppose to do when they do? Why do people dont come over it for better good? I dont blame anyone. My point is if our friendship does not stand up to this small test. May be we were not close enough. Though we could have been. It really hurts when you see a great friend in someone and then you loose them all of sudden. Dont we deserve second chance ? Why do fail to talk things through. Most of failed relationships are not due to misunderstanding. It is cause we fail to over come and talk this misunderstanding through.

Sometime I wonder is this what we call friendship is ? When One person does something wrong the other just leave you and go? Why did my friend not catch my ears and say “Stop showing off. And reply.” The more I think about this more I become impatient and angry. Angry that It ended because of me. Angry that even after me trying I could not make it happen. Angry that it did not work out well. Angry that I lost a friend.

I have nothing else to say. The more I think about this more I feel sad. I think I should stick to my movie that I am watching.

Jagdeep Singh Virdi