The Language of Silence

Hi All,

A very Happy New Year to all reading and following my blog. Here is my first blog of 2018, hopefully I will try to write more. I am also thinking to do QandA Blog where you can ask me any questions, I will select few of them and answer them in a Blog.

The blogs I write are often the journey of my mind and what I am going through at that particular time. So whats in my mind? Here we go.

In this modern world, where there are more than one way to communicate with each other, there are equal number of ways we can be left isolated. The technology has made us more isolated, than it has opened doors to talk to talk to. I know it very negative way of looking at things around the world, but it is a fact. Silence is the easiest way to choke a relationship.

Growing up my Dad was strict, we would get strict punishment or even beating for any wrong doing or for not performing well in our studies. The beating from Dad used to be bad, being bit fair does not help, I used to be colored black and blue after each beating.  Even though the beating was hard both physically and mentally, I was more scared of Silent treatment we kids got when we pissed off Mom. It was scary as hell.

In this modern era, there are so many ways a person can choke you, without actually killing you. It’s better to stay away from social media, to avoid this. I am trying to stay away from people who will put me in such situation.

Social Isolation can trigger the feeling of being unwanted and depression.

What to do if you go through such Social Isolation?

  • It is always good to have one to one interaction with your friends. They will keep you centered.
  • Get out of your room, go to Meetups, Travel meet new people.
  • Get a new Hobby, Cooking, Sketching, Watch a TV Series, Gardening, Get a Pet.

If you are planning to Isolate someone, clear somethings  out with the person before you do it. It does not keep the other person hooked up and lingering on. Be a Gentleman or Lady, when you do that. Not a Bitch or Ass hole about it! If you are doing without clearing things about it, you know, you are doing something wrong.

Thanks You.

Jagdeep Singh Virdi

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Lessons from Incomplete Stories

I often think why do I write very personal things in my life in such a public forum. It does give insight to what I am. And I am not scared of it. The blog has been an diary of my mind. It has story of my dreadful childhood failing in 3rd Grade, endless painful stories of my numerous heart breaks , It also has the painful marriage that lasted hardly 3 months. It has numerous incomplete poems, songs that are just lost in thoughts.

So Why do I still do it? Blogging in its own way has helped me to move on, it is  often therapeutic. When a thought is in my mind for a long time and saying it out loud will not help me in anyway. I tell it to the world using this blog. May be it helps someone in their own way. And may be, just may be my story will be complete someday.

Past always has a grip on our present, and our present has a grip of our future. If anyone says you otherwise is bull shitting you. Our Past has overwhelming effect on us. It is that experience we take forward in our learning. But more often past makes us more scared about our present. We are unable to move forward. I am stuck in a cage of bad experience in my past and every new experience makes the cage stronger. May be I am doing something wrong.

There are times when you meet some people, who are literally everything that you hope a person from your dreams would be. Someone who pushes you to be better version of yourself, not for them but for betterment of yourself too. The world seems perfect when they are around. I recently went through something similar. Everything seems perfect. The short duration of our conversations and interactions were amazing. May be just for me. Because when I started getting too involved, I need more of them and then people push me away. What ever the reason is. Everything teaches you something.

So what I have learnt?

  1. Patience, a lot of it!
  2. Don’t take life too seriously! Many fishes in the sea.
  3. Don’t build castle on Sand, too soon.
  4. Don’t give away everything about you too soon.
  5. Keep distance, being available all the time, you will be taken for granted. 🙂
  6. Do Not Introduce your Friends to the person you like too soon. Sometimes they will make your own friends against you.  So Be careful when you introduce them. Its a big risk. I lost 2 of my good friends. 😦
  7. Take chance, Its either works out or not.
  8. Know when it is Over.

One of the main things that I should learn is Not to be too Serious! I am so bad at it. My brain constantly thinks too much. 🙂 I have planned most of my life like that. But relationships never work like that. We cannot plan everything in life.

Second Learning to Let go of someone, Music is one of the best distraction that can help you let go someone. It helped me a lot. Getting out of home, meeting friends and making new ones also helps a lot. Taking up some course or hobby also helps. I started learning to editing Photos, read more about photography this time. ( Though Initially it was to impress someone but now I love the process, It is like Sketching or Painting which I love)

Third have a support group in your life, always. Something or Someone what will pull you up when you are down. Mine was my Niece. She did not have to do much, just looking at her happy face would cheer me up. Sometime I would call and talk and things would be better. FRIENDS! I made few friends who don’t grind me on my actions or ask me too many questions, they are just there.  A simple “Hey you are doing good?” Helps a lot. They know you are not doing well. But will be better. You hangout with friends and forget everything about the bad face in your life.

After this one thing I feel good about is, I did not Hate the person even after all this. ( Though I did not like that she got me hooked and then just left) Hate is too harsh an emotion, and  no one deserves it. May be it was not meant to be. I will not hate anyone. I have a feeling that if I hate one person today, that hate would spread in me. May she find happiness in her quest. For me I am looking forward for my trip to Vietnam trip. Looking forward to make good memories and happy times.

Keep Smiling, Thanks for listening.

Cheers,

Jagdeep Singh Virdi

Random Thoughts from Keep

I do not understand my blogging habits, I have mostly written them when I am in extremes state of minds. I will try to be more regular, but no promises. Blogs and Sketching/Painting have been my only place for emotional outbursts.

Today, These random thoughts are my collection from Google Keep Notes. Just felt it should be out there before it is lost somewhere in my notes.


Hollow World

It’s Hollow Sun and Hollow Moon,
Dull Days and gloomy Nights.

I walk pass a hollow crowd, with empty dreams and broken hearts
A world world with bright screens, and advertising lies.

World with Automatic Cars and Uber Cabs, but with no destination in mind.

Slaves of Money and Slaves of Times. 


Let me find a park bench to sleep under a starry sky, let the winds be my fan and Moon my night lap.

My face hurts giving fake smiles now.

Take me home God, I am too tired now, let me sleep in your arms now.


In a beautiful sunset, I see a couple with love in their eyes and a Smile.
They don’t talk or hold hands, they look so Happy admiring their little one.
I feel abundance of Love in my heart, and then all sudden my heart sinks.

May be I will be Happy Again.
Everyone would say they understand, but why do I find like I m falling down.

Friends I have and more friends I will find, but the quest to find the one will never end.


 

No I m not depressed, I m just sad and alone. Don’t know where my life is taking me. I m just having sad thoughts.

I feel like a papaya tree that stands tall bear fruits but is hollow and weak inside, a small push and it will fall.

I believe in angels, yes I do. There is one in my life. One who picks me up when I m down and makes me smile. Makes me feel that this life is worth living for… She is my Niece, my Pari, my Angel …

 


Meri Nani Pari. ( Small Poem for my Niece)
================
Dobe Huye Insan Ko, Kinara De Gayi.
Duniye Se Tang Ko, Sarah De Gayi.
Pardes Ho Kar Bhi, Uski Haase Kuch Kar Jati Hai,
Ek Uske Muskaan He Tho Hai Jo Muje Ghar Bulti Hai.
Gol Sitro Jayse Uske Nayan, Nayno Mein Hazaro Sapna.
In sab sapno Ko Pura Karne Ka Maan Karta Hai.
Ab Fir Jeene Ka Maan Karta Hai.

Cheers,

Jagdeep Singh Virdi

 

 

Burden of a Nice Guy

The Nice Guy

If you Google the meaning of : “Nice Guy Meaning”, Wikipedia comes up with a very good paragraph on Nice Guy, though I don’t agree with it completely, but it did give a prospective on what others think of me, or how the world sees our kind. Lets go though what Wikipedia has to say first.

A nice guy is an informal term for a teenage or adult male who portrays himself[dubious – discuss] as gentle, compassionate, sensitive and/or vulnerable. The term is used both positively and negatively. When used positively, and particularly when used as a self-descriptor, it is intended to imply a male who puts the needs of others before his own, avoids confrontations, does favors, gives emotional support, tries to stay out of trouble, and generally acts nicely towards others. In the context of a relationship, it may also refer to traits of honesty, loyalty, romanticism, courtesy and respect. When used negatively, a nice guy implies a male who is unassertive, does not express his true feelings and, in the context of dating (in which the term is often used), uses acts of ostensible friendship with the unstated aim of progressing to a romantic or sexual relationship.

Here in my case, I would say it is a mix of all the above, the case i disagree with Wikipedia is that there is something negative about not showing true feelings and also in the context of dating, in this case everyone is a Nice Guy, because most of us hide the true self when go on dates, it is something we all do to get laid!

I would define Nice Guy as a person who sees a need to please everyone and someone who just wants to be accepted or be loved. Or basically someone who is just happy to help others. Sometimes we don’t want anything in return, it is just the way we are. But too often this helping nature is taken to be a plot on getting something in return. That is what I have seen in recent time, we all have become too cynical & suspicious of other people’s motives. There are times when I go on great lengths to help someone, just because I like them, not to except something in return.

Why there should be a need to be accepted by all? Because sometimes we don’t have anyone to ourselves. There are very, very few people with whom I can truly be me. There is a weird logic that I go by inspired by a Story of “The Saint & The Scorpion”

One day a saint was taking a bath in a river. His disciple sat on the bank with the saint’s clothes, asana and rosary. The saint noticed a scorpion struggling in the current. Taking pity, he lifted the bedraggled scorpion in his palm and started wading toward the bank.
No sooner had the scorpion recovered than it promptly stung the saint on the palm. The saint felt an unbearable, burning pain shoot up his arm, but he did not drop the scorpion. Instead, he gently shook his hand to encourage the scorpion to move away from the wound.
The saint’s disciple, watching from the bank, became alarmed, but did not say anything.
The saint had only taken a few more steps when the scorpion stung him again. A searing pain more intense than the first one went all the way up his arm and throbbed in his hand. The saint staggered and nearly collapsed in the river.
This time the disciple did call out. Put him down, Guruji! He will only sting you again. Leave him to his fate. Your kindness is of no value to such a creature. He will learn nothing from it!
The saint ignored him and continued walking. He had nearly reached the bank when the scorpion stung him for a third time. The pain exploded into his head, lungs, and his heart. The disciple saw a blissful smile appear on the saint’s face before he collapsed in to the river. The disciple dragged the saint to the shore, still smiling and still cradling the scorpion in his palm. As soon as they had reached shore, the scorpion crawled away as quickly as it could.
Guruji! said the disciple after the saint had regained consciousness. How can you smile? That wretched creature nearly killed you.
You are right, my son, said the saint. But he was only following his dharma, his nature. It is the dharma of a scorpion to sting, and it is the dharma of a saint to save its’ life. He is following his dharma and I am following mine. Everything is in its proper place. That is why I am so happy.

The Burden

What is the burden here in being a Nice Guy? Biggest problem in being this guy is that we are good to all, even when some people really don’t deserve our attention. And that is what brings us down, we have to take bull shit from people whom we should not have given attention. And too often it is these bullshit people that stick around you because you be good to them. The bullshit given by people gets collected over time and when this crosses a limit. We snap! That is why there would be time when there will be an outburst by a Nice Guy. And it would surprise most of them. What I have also noticed is that it is our Loved ones that see our emotional outbursts.

I found this amazing video explaining part of problem with Nice Guy. Enjoy

If you did go though these Videos, you would surely relate to them in some level. This topic stuck in my mind after seeing the first video here and relating quite a bit to it. Being nice to all is getting very exhausting for me now. The older I get more I see the need just to be true to myself and kick out people who actually should not hold any part in my life.

This has ruffled some feathers and few relationship around me as I have become more upfront and blunt in my critic. I don’t see point to listen or respond to everyone’s bullshit. This process is sometimes liberating as I am being honest and saying what is in my mind. But it is also resulting in some emotional outbursts at my own loved ones too. And for them this is all new me. May be some time I have become too proud, but fact is I have stopped taking bullshit from the world around me.

Hoping for a better tomorrow. Free and Liberated mind.

Jagdeep Singh Virdi

Understanding Islam II

Hi

My first article on Islam was few days after, I saw few men with their own notion of religion came guns blazing to my country that I love and killed many Innocent people. This was Mumbai Attack on 26th November 2008. I basically don’t understand concept of killing in name of religion.Killing for any reason. No God justifies killing any of his creation.

After 8 years, I still don’t understand this religion and I really want to. (Let me be clear nor am I looking to convert) I am Sikh and I love my religion and very happy in it. I respect all the religions around me, have never disrespected any of them.

Anyone who intend to reply to this blog remember the following:-

  1. Would not entertain comparison with other religion, No bullshit like this religion they do it like this. So why I don’t question them.
  2. I don’t have any personal vendetta against Islam or any other religion. So if my  questions are harsh that is not my intend.

My previous blog in the similar topic can be checked at Understand Islam

I have been waiting to write this topic for quite sometime. There has been lot going since 2008. There has been loads more killing in name of Islam. Last time I  checked in 2008 there was just Al-Qaeda. Now we have seen raise of ISIS. Now before everyone start saying ISIS is a creation of USA. I totally agree on that point. US did create a power vacuum, leave all the Humvees and did sell weapons to Free Sriyan Army which ended up coming to ISIS hands eventually. Keep all this aside. I am more interested in Ideology behind all this.

So here are my questions with the background behind it :-

Background:-

On 2nd July,2016 – 6 young men, killed innocent people who have come for dinner. Among the dead from attack, the police said, were nine Italians, seven Japanese, two Bangladeshis, one American and one Indian. These young men were studying in Elite Schools from good background. Who were brainwashed to kill people.

  1. Is it justified to Kill in Islam? Just simple plain Yes or No. If yes under what conditions? Though I would not agree for any reason a religions book should say it is OK to kill. There should not be. Taking anyone’s like should not be upon any individual or Organization. It should be left on God himself.
  2. Are these innocent people death justified according to Islam?
  3. Is person being from other religion justify that their life does not matter as much as a Muslim life?
  4. How does one get so brainwashed to kill, in the name of God?

Background:-

If you look at the background of Islam in my country, India. It is a bloody history with Muslim conqueror coming one after another and plundering the country and converting people to Islam. Choice rejecting it was less. You either convert or you die.

  1. Is forced conversion OK in Islam? What if someone does not want to convert?
  2. If he does not convert is it Ok to kill?

 

Here are some more questions:-

  1. Does every Muslim want a Sharia Law in his/her Country? Is there no sense of belonging than religion?
  2. Does Quran really say that Men are higher grade than Women? Women is lesser being than Men?
  3. Does Islam permit to hit women? No matter what the reason is. Is it ok?
  4. What rights does Women have according to Islam?

 

Though there are lot more questions but I hope it would be Ok, if someone can just answer these.

Jagdeep Singh Virdi

 

Flashback Punjab 1984 – India wakeup

Hi

Desecration of a Guru Granth Sahib Ji, is attack on our Guru himself. This is not acceptable at any level. If today there was any other religious Book torn and disrespected, whole country would have stood up. The country would have come to an Halt. Why not now? I have not seen any of my friends post anything about the situation in Punjab. News channels are not covering detailed level coverage on this. Had this been Bhagwat Gita, Quran or Bible, what then?

Sikhs have been one of the most humble citizen of this country. We have served in every field with at most sincerity. Our Gurdwara’s have served free meals to every citizen without any discrimination. We have served people from all race at the time of need. Be it J&K Floods, Mumbai Floods, Nepal Earth Quake. What hurt me most is no one is standing for us now. In our Ardas (Prayer) we pray for all. “Sarbaht da bhala” which means “blessings for everyone” or literally “may everyone prosper”. It is time someone pray and support us.

I don’t know who to blame for this horrendous crimes, is it politically motivated? RSS involved? VHS ? or Pakistan? . Wahe Guru will punish him/her for this. What has happened after these act was even more sad. Peaceful protesters where hit and killed. There were many wounded. And sad part is still no news channel showed this. Now that paramilitary forces are called all news channel would show. I still don’t know if they are showing anything.

Punjab is in Fragile situation one mistake and we all would go back to 1984. Which I don’t think anyone want. Rise up India. Wake up. Show your support to Sikhs of this country.

Wahe Guru Ji Ka Khalsa, Wahe Guru Ji Ke Fathe

Jai Hind

Jagdeep Singh Virdi

Reply to Nawaz Sharif UN Speech 2015

Dear Mr. Nawaz Sharif

It was great to read your entire speech, It made me laugh to my core. I thank you for that. I have been in some bad batch but this really brought smile and happiness on my face.

I have tried to reply to all your points you made on your speech.

  • (Talking about Security Council in UN ) Pakistan supports a comprehensive reform of the United Nations, including that of the Security Council. A Council that reflects the interests of all member states, in accordance with the principle of sovereign equality.

I know what you did here. 😀 Pointing finger at India. You have nothing to offer to the world other than terrorism. That is why the world is not interested in what Pakistan have to offer. And Please don’t talk about principles of Sovereign equality. We see what equality you give to your own people in Baluchistan and POK.

  • Pakistan is the primary victim of terrorism. We have lost thousands of lives including civilians and soldiers to terrorist violence.

Pakistan is mother of Terrorism. You have started this, it is the way of life for you. Don’t project yourself as the victims. You trained Al-Qaeda, everyone know that. You trained mujaheddin to invade Kashmir, and there are numerous videos where your very own people accept proudly that they do this. Now when the same people attack you. Suddenly you become the victim? Really! India had been the victim of it for a very long. No one understood this until 9/11 happened. You are not victims, “what you sow is what you reap“.Sometimes, I feel bad for the people of Pakistan who are suffering due to stupid decisions made by their leaders.

  • The blood that has been shed – including that of our innocent children – has reinforced our resolve to eliminate this scourge from our society. We will fight terrorism in all its forms and manifestations, irrespective of who their sponsors are.

What? Irrespective of who their sponsors are? You are to blame. Don’t blame anyone for your doings. As I mentioned above. “what you sow is what you reap“. No one is to blame on your current situation but you alone. Did you come to realization only after so many innocent children were killed? You should be ashamed of yourselves.

  • The global threat of terrorism cannot be defeated unless we address its underlying causes. Poverty and ignorance are part of the problem. Extremist ideologies must be opposed.

Extremist ideologies would only go if you start teaching your people right things. If you push your people to Madrasas that only teach and promote Hate. They would all come out as terrorists only. Teach them not to hate people just because of their Religion or Country. There are hundreds of videos that show what is taught in Pakistani books, what kind of history do the learn. They idolize people who killed and raped people. (Some Facts can be read at following link : https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pakistani_textbooks_controversy ) What crap is this? Teach your children right history. Teach them to Love. I studied in ICSI Board in 10 Standard. There was no mention of anything against Pakistan or against Mugals or against anyone.

  • Unfortunately, some seek to use the global campaign against terrorism to suppress the legitimate right of occupied peoples to self -determination.

Smart pants just say it plainly what you want to say. We all know whom are you trying to convey. Message received. J&K will never be part of Pakistan, keep dreaming.

  • Muslims are suffering across the world: Palestinians and Kashmiris oppressed by foreign occupation; persecuted minorities; and the discrimination against Muslim refugees fleeing persecution or war.

I dont know much about Palestinian, but I know one thing only foreign occupation of Kashmir is by Pakistan. Sooner or later Our Jammu and Kashmir would be complete. Discrimination against Muslim refugees is mostly at the hand of Muslim Arab countries. What have they done to help their own people. Why is world talking about Europe not being good to Refugees, when people of their own faith do not welcome them with open arms. What is Muslim Community around the world not raising voice against Arab & Middle East? Why not help each other?

  • In response to the request from the Afghan Government and with the support of the international community, Pakistan made strenuous efforts to facilitate the process of Afghan reconciliation. Dialogue did open between the Afghan Government and the Taliban, which was an unprecedented first. But it was unfortunate that certain developments stalled the process. Thereafter, militant attacks intensified, which we unequivocally condemn.

Why not answer and say from where these militants are regrouping? Getting Weapons? Why should Government make peace with Taliban? Why go back to same old circle again? If there are any negotiations with these Radical mindless terrorist, all they would do is regroup and attack again. That is all they know.

  • Pakistan will persist in the endeavor to help resume the dialogue process and promote peace and stability in Afghanistan.

No you wont, you would for the world promote peace but just like back stabbing friend you would sponsor attacks, train terrorists. Good Afghanistan is not ready with you for talks. They don’t need you. We all know who is behind unsuitability in Afghanistan ask any kid there, they would tell you, who is the enemy and who is friend.

  • Pakistan greatly appreciates China’s proactive role in promoting peace and prosperity in Afghanistan and our region. We welcome China’s vision of “One Belt, One Road”. The China-Pakistan Economic Corridor, announced during President Xi ainping’s visit to Pakistan earlier this year will spur regional economic integration and bring prosperity to the entire region and beyond.

To all Kashmiris who think Pakistan is good for you. They are going to sell your land to Chinese in name of Development. They already did and they are doing it. And they talk about sovereignty.

  • Three generations of Kashmiris have only seen broken promises and brutal oppression. Over 100,000 have died in their struggle for self-determination.

Most of this as part of on going terrorism supported by Pakistan. You just dont seem to listen. No one can deny that they do not train and send people over. Over the years all politicians have agreed on national televisions that they are and will be supporting Armed insurgence in Kashmir! Your Ex-President agreed to this himself! He even agreed that during Kargil War he crossed and stayed at Indian administered Kashmir! How come Pakistan think that we would believe anything that they say.

  • Yet today ceasefire violations along the Line of Control and the Working Boundary are intensifying, causing civilian deaths including women and children.

These ceasefire violations has been going on since generations. These are as part of cover fire to help the terrorist enter India. This is nothing new from Pakistan. Only difference now is the way this new government is replying back. New government has given full permission to Army to Reply back with 10 times more fire power. So if you try to engage us you are going to get a good reply.

  • Wisdom dictates that our immediate neighbor refrains from fomenting instability in Pakistan. The two countries should address and resolve the causes of tension and take all possible measures to avert further escalation.

You morons have disabled our country for ages. Don’t act as victims. The world know you as two faced, back stabbing country. No wonder no one comes to play cricket or for any kind of investment.

  • That is why I want to use the opportunity today to propose a new peace initiative with India, starting with measures that are the simplest to implement:
  1. One, we propose that Pakistan and India formalize and respect the 2003 understanding for a complete ceasefire on the Line of Control in Kashmir. For this purpose, we call for UNMOGIP’s expansion to monitor the observance of the ceasefire.
  2. Two, we propose, that Pakistan and India reaffirm that they will not resort to the use or the threat of use of force under any circumstances. This is a central element of the UN Charter.
  3. Three, steps be taken to demilitarize Kashmir.
  4. Four, agree to an unconditional mutual withdrawal from Siachen Glacier, the world’s highest battleground.

Mr.Nawaz Sharif, I too have a solution for Kashmir issue. It involves only 2 steps!!!

  1. Turn Around
  2. Get the fuck out of our Jammu and Kashmir. (Get out of POK)
  • Pakistan neither wants to, nor is it engaged in, an arms race in South Asia. We cannot however remain oblivious to the evolving security dynamics and arms buildup in our region, which obliges us to take essential steps to maintain our security.

You cannot get into arms race with India, you dont have any money unless you get it from US. We will build up arsenal build more in house. Only way to keep you all quite. Your essential steps involve supporting terrorist & building more Nuclear Weapons. And stop threatening people that you have nuclear weapon. The day you use one, would be the day Pakistan would cease to exists.

Jai Hind.

Jagdeep